Chemo Weight Gain

I'm blogging from my iPad. :)


Remember me saying that chemo makes you gain weight, not lose it? Ugh. It's true. And I hate it.

I've definitely gained weight. And here's the thing that sucks. Every time I go to the doctor, they weigh me. Not necessarily to see how much I've gained, but to ensure that the doses of the drogas are appropriate to my weight. Yay. But good news, they got this snazzy little digital scale and I can't see how much I weigh anymore! (It used to be the old school kind, where they move the 100 and then you dread them moving the 50 over too.)

So I look like I'm five months pregnant, but there ain't no baby cooking in there. Just some chemicals that give me gas, upset stomach, nausea, fatigue, and the urge to pee every 30 minutes. {this is sooooo like pregnancy.} And beyond looking like I've gained weight, I really have. But sometimes the only drink that I can stand to drink is ginger ale (hello, carbonation = more bloating). And good foods don't sound good, the bad foods settle my stomach - or I can at least eat them without gagging. Sometimes my gag reflex is just strong. The smell of leftovers makes me nauseous. You know that lingering smell of what you ate for dinner.... Can't stand it now. And sometimes (on a chemo week) that means that I can't/won't eat them. Yuck. I don't throw up, but I do maintain a pretty consistent level of nausea on my chemo week. Food just sucks. And holy moly, I miss salad. Oh, salad, salad, salad. My mouth waters when I see a salad on tv. I want salad. And fresh fruits and veggies, not peeled or cooked. And my insides just feel so heavy all the time (from the lack of the fresh stuff in my diet). And I really don't want to hear crap from people about what I SHOULD be eating because my doctors know what they're doing and I'm not making this stuff up. Got off-track there a bit. But really, my doctors have talked to me about the weight gain (back in the beginning) and they said it has a lot to do with everything I just described. So it just sucks. I fully expect to lose at least ten pounds pretty quickly this fall. And THAT I am looking forward to.

When strangers see me, they probably wonder when the baby's due (especially when I'm all nauseous and pathetic), but my good friends will know that I'm just uncomfortably bloated for the next six months.

Super yay.


{Sarcasm.}