FYI - this isn't a super pleasant or kind post.

One of the things people do when you tell them you have cancer is begin listing everyone they've ever known who has ever had cancer too. They think it's the same thing and that somehow greater numbers of people who have suffered will somehow make you feel better about yourself. Or I don't know. Maybe they want you to know that they know someone who has gone through something possibly remotely like what you're going through so they know what to do. But, clearly, they don't. Or they wouldn't say that.

I get that some people are very genuine about what they're saying and I understand that it can just be a natural reaction for people. But I don't understand why anyone would think it would make me feel better or why they would think they have all the answers now.

Cancer affects every person differently. Treatments - even the same ones - affect every person differently. We might have the exact same "chemo cocktail," but end up with entirely different side-effects. In fact, that's more likely to happen than for us to have the same side-effects. And you do NOT know what it's going to be like for me. And, frankly, I don't want to hear (at least right now) what it was like for you or your neighbor or sister or cousin or brother or dad. I get that you're trying to give me hope for a good outcome, but it doesn't really do that. I want to hear everything from the doctor. I don't want to hear what happened to you that might happen to me from you.

And medicine changes SO MUCH all the time. What they did five years ago is probably not the same as what they're doing now. In fact, with this type of cancer, things are constantly changing. It's a growing and advancing field and what happened five years REALLY doesn't apply now.


Anyway, I don't want to hear it. Maybe later I'll want to hear your life story. But right now, I don't want to hear any of it. I want to hear about what you watched on tv last night and what your rotten little kids are getting into - because mine can probably beat yours any day of the week.

My doctor is going to fill my head with more information than I'll have room for and all kinds of horrible things. I don't want to hear about your experience right now. Let's talk later. When I'm better. Until then, let's watch Gossip Girl and see how long it takes us to figure out that it was Dan all along....




I feel better now. :)