Freezer Burn

Written Sunday, January 13, 2013

Friday I went in for my surgical biopsy. I had this idea in my head that it was a no-big-deal kind of surgery and then everyone there made it really serious. Because, well, apparently it was.

We got there just after 8:00am (dropped the kids at a friend's house in the ward, thank heavens for her!) and checked in. I got my little bracelet thing with all my info on it and waited for them to call me back. Then I got to read some papers about how I should be fine, but sometimes anesthesia causes serious problems, blah, blah, blah. Comforting. Reaalll comforting. I also got to pee in a cup (I was like uh... you really think I can do that when I haven't had anything to eat/drink since 11pm last night?? but I did it. Good-job-me.)

Then we waited in the waiting area again until they called us to "door number 2". What's behind Door Number 2, Bob?????? They actually called Patrick's cell phone to call us back. Interesting.

Went through Door Number 2. Checked my vitals, took me to a room to get changed into my fancy disposable attire - including disposable MC Hammer shorts. Oh, yeah, those were hot!

We waiting for like half an hour. Oops, they called us in early and then made us wait. They apologized.

They gave me an IV for fluids (and for the antibiotic and anesthesia and whatnot), read a bunch of stuff to me, asked a bunch of questions, etc. etc. etc. and they made me pee again. Just to make sure my bladder was empty this time. I also got cool grey socks with that grippy stuff on both sides! For the floppy feet folk, I suppose. They also had Patrick write "yes" on the right side of my neck since the mass is on the right side and they didn't know where he'd be cutting, but assumed it'd be on the right side... so he wouldn't accidentally cut the wrong side... turns out I didn't need it because he cut me in the center. :)

It was time to go back to "holding", so Patrick gave me a kiss goodbye, we said 'I love you', and I was on my way. That's when it started to feel real and serious to me.

Patrick went back to the waiting room and I went into "holding."They hooked a heater up to my gown. Weird. But kinda cool, I guess. The nurse in holding was named Mikell. That made me happy. :) One of my best friend's name is Mikelle.

The doctor came in to talk to me. Met the anesthesiologist. Met the nurse who'd be in the OR with me. He said, "Yo, Adrienneeeee" and I just looked at him. Yep, haven't heard that one before. Then he told me his name is Chris Carol and that people have fun with that one at Christmas time... Christmas Carol... Anyway, he was funny and very nice. They were all very nice. Dr. McCann wears too much cologne or smelly deodorant or something. Phewy!

At 9:45 Chris rolled me into the OR. I pictured it differently. It didn't really look like they do in the movies. It was small-seeming, very white and stark, and I don't know, just not what I expected. They had my info written on a whiteboard on the wall and they spelled my name 'Adrianne'. I didn't bother correcting them because it was correct on my info. Obviously whoever wrote it just can't read. :)

They had me move to the narrow, green, hard table and put an oxygen max over my face. Told me to take deep breaths.... and then I was out. I remember all of 2-3 minutes of that OR experience.

When surgery was done, Dr. McCann went out and talked to Patrick. He said the surgery had gone well. They took a sample of the tissue and froze it to get a "frozen diagnosis", an idea of what it is and what our treatment may be. He said it's looking and acting like lymphoma. The full pathology results should match the frozen diagnosis. So that means chemo. Meeting with an oncologist and possibly losing my hair. There are a zillion different types of lymphoma, about 80 chemo drugs, and many different ways to treat the lymphomas. So it all requires the detailed reports from pathology and then a meeting with an oncologist. I'm still kind of hoping that isn't the route. ;-)

I woke up in a bed, with Patrick by my side and a nurse asking me questions. I was sweating like CRAZY and my neck hurt SO bad. And I was nauseous. Ick! I couldn't communicate properly and I felt like I couldn't lift my arms. I was trying to take my socks off, using my feet to push them off. The hooked the air thing into my gown to give me cool air and brought me crackers and ginger ale so that I could take pain meds. Patrick helped me lay on my side and put the air on my back. I was melting! I was crying from the pain and from being so hot. He fed me the crackers small bite by small bite and held the drink close to me to take sips. I would barely raise a hand or finger (left for cracker, right for drink) to signal to him what I wanted. The nurse said he would make a good nurse. He did a great job. Once I had a little bit of food in me, she gave me the drugs. I had to take them one pill at a time. I could barely open my eyes. I was SUPER groggy. After I got the drugs, I went back to sleep. I think I was in and out of it for a couple of hours, requesting cracker and drink here and there.

Finally a nurse came in and was treating me like it was time to leave. I felt like I just got there and why were they trying to get rid of me?? Then Patrick told me it was almost 2pm. Oh, oh, that's why. :) So after a few minutes, I tried to force myself awake and got dressed. Patrick went to get the car and a nurse put me in a wheelchair and took me out to the car.

We stopped at Smith's so Patrick could pick up my prescription and more ginger ale and crackers. I was SO out of and getting more and more nauseous the longer I sat up. My head was bobbing and I was falling asleep in the car while he was inside. It was probably quite the site to see.

We picked the kids up, Patrick gave me some soup and I went to bed to lay down before I upchucked.

I woke up at 5, ate, hung out, laid on the couch, etc. Brick Oven sent dinner to us - one of the managers wanted to send us some - I was so grateful for that! AND the Relief Society had dinner for us (I asked them last week to help out with it). The taco soup our friend brought over was DELICIOUS. I was so so so so glad that Patrick was home. Plus, I wasn't allowed to be without a responsible adult for the first 24 hours. :) I was still out of it.

Saturday, I woke up and was super lethargic, sore, etc. Totally out of it. I slept a lot. I took a nap in the afternoon and woke up from it feeling SUPER nauseous. Patrick called the doctor and he said the anesthesia wears off in the first 24 hours, but for some people it lasts a few days. He called in an anti-nausea med for me and Patrick took the girls to get it. I was okay while lying down, but if I got up... yuck.

Brick Oven sent lunch and the RS brought us dinner. We have been so well taken care of. I'm so grateful for that! And BO got Patrick's shift covered so he could stay home Saturday too. Thank heavens for that because I got sick right around when he would've gone to work. I was totally out of commission.

I took my meds and slept and slept and then was awake for a bit and then fell asleep on the couch. It has been like I have not been able to control whether I'm awake or asleep.

Today, I woke up with much less pain in my neck, but the pain was more centralized than before. More just at the incision as opposed to all around it. I iced my neck a lot Friday and Saturday, but just once today. I woke up at 8 or 9 and was in and out of it until just before the family went to church at 1045. Then I ate, watched a little bit of tv and fell asleep at 1. I woke up at 530. I heard things here and there, but I was totally out of it. I have been SOOO out of it today! And I've been taking fewer drugs and everything. I was totally not prepared for the recovery I've had. I did not think it would wipe me out so much.

The bishop and first counselor came over this evening to check on me and kind of get the story on what's going on. He told us to let us know how we can help and what we need. We are so well taken care of in this ward. It will hard to leave, whenever we do.

Now it's time for me to go to bed again. I'm getting sleepy again and I have to work in the am. I took a shower tonight and used the fancy plastic taped cover thing to cover up my incision/tape. It was weird. I used a baby wipe to clean the area that was under the cover after my shower. haha. :) I can take the tape/gauze off of my incision tomorrow. I'm thinking about leaving there during school and just putting a bandaid over the bloody gauze part. That way it's protected from infection and bleeding and all that jazz. And then I'll take it off when I get home. I just have little tape stitch things, not sewn stitches - probably for healing pretty purposes. :) It's at the base/center of my neck. I guess I could start liking scarves...... :)

My principal has been very supportive and has said that the number one concern is my health. There is a secretary at school, Janine, who is just super duper worried about me. She gave me her cell and home phone number and told me to call her if I need ANYTHING at all. She feels bad that my mom is so far away and she wants to help me in any way that she can. She is the sweetest! She has been so worried about me. I tell her not to, but she does. She is great!!! I'm so grateful that she's here for me.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. We will get results sometime in the middle of this week and go from there. Pray for us! :)