"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we
experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development
of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that
we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it
patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our
souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called
the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil
and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire
and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven."
—Orson F. Whitney, quoted by Spencer W. Kimball in Faith Precedes the Miracle, p. 98.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Chemo Weight Gain
I'm blogging from my iPad. :)
Remember me saying that chemo makes you gain weight, not lose it? Ugh. It's true. And I hate it.
I've definitely gained weight. And here's the thing that sucks. Every time I go to the doctor, they weigh me. Not necessarily to see how much I've gained, but to ensure that the doses of the drogas are appropriate to my weight. Yay. But good news, they got this snazzy little digital scale and I can't see how much I weigh anymore! (It used to be the old school kind, where they move the 100 and then you dread them moving the 50 over too.)
So I look like I'm five months pregnant, but there ain't no baby cooking in there. Just some chemicals that give me gas, upset stomach, nausea, fatigue, and the urge to pee every 30 minutes. {this is sooooo like pregnancy.} And beyond looking like I've gained weight, I really have. But sometimes the only drink that I can stand to drink is ginger ale (hello, carbonation = more bloating). And good foods don't sound good, the bad foods settle my stomach - or I can at least eat them without gagging. Sometimes my gag reflex is just strong. The smell of leftovers makes me nauseous. You know that lingering smell of what you ate for dinner.... Can't stand it now. And sometimes (on a chemo week) that means that I can't/won't eat them. Yuck. I don't throw up, but I do maintain a pretty consistent level of nausea on my chemo week. Food just sucks. And holy moly, I miss salad. Oh, salad, salad, salad. My mouth waters when I see a salad on tv. I want salad. And fresh fruits and veggies, not peeled or cooked. And my insides just feel so heavy all the time (from the lack of the fresh stuff in my diet). And I really don't want to hear crap from people about what I SHOULD be eating because my doctors know what they're doing and I'm not making this stuff up. Got off-track there a bit. But really, my doctors have talked to me about the weight gain (back in the beginning) and they said it has a lot to do with everything I just described. So it just sucks. I fully expect to lose at least ten pounds pretty quickly this fall. And THAT I am looking forward to.
When strangers see me, they probably wonder when the baby's due (especially when I'm all nauseous and pathetic), but my good friends will know that I'm just uncomfortably bloated for the next six months.
Super yay.
{Sarcasm.}
Remember me saying that chemo makes you gain weight, not lose it? Ugh. It's true. And I hate it.
I've definitely gained weight. And here's the thing that sucks. Every time I go to the doctor, they weigh me. Not necessarily to see how much I've gained, but to ensure that the doses of the drogas are appropriate to my weight. Yay. But good news, they got this snazzy little digital scale and I can't see how much I weigh anymore! (It used to be the old school kind, where they move the 100 and then you dread them moving the 50 over too.)
So I look like I'm five months pregnant, but there ain't no baby cooking in there. Just some chemicals that give me gas, upset stomach, nausea, fatigue, and the urge to pee every 30 minutes. {this is sooooo like pregnancy.} And beyond looking like I've gained weight, I really have. But sometimes the only drink that I can stand to drink is ginger ale (hello, carbonation = more bloating). And good foods don't sound good, the bad foods settle my stomach - or I can at least eat them without gagging. Sometimes my gag reflex is just strong. The smell of leftovers makes me nauseous. You know that lingering smell of what you ate for dinner.... Can't stand it now. And sometimes (on a chemo week) that means that I can't/won't eat them. Yuck. I don't throw up, but I do maintain a pretty consistent level of nausea on my chemo week. Food just sucks. And holy moly, I miss salad. Oh, salad, salad, salad. My mouth waters when I see a salad on tv. I want salad. And fresh fruits and veggies, not peeled or cooked. And my insides just feel so heavy all the time (from the lack of the fresh stuff in my diet). And I really don't want to hear crap from people about what I SHOULD be eating because my doctors know what they're doing and I'm not making this stuff up. Got off-track there a bit. But really, my doctors have talked to me about the weight gain (back in the beginning) and they said it has a lot to do with everything I just described. So it just sucks. I fully expect to lose at least ten pounds pretty quickly this fall. And THAT I am looking forward to.
When strangers see me, they probably wonder when the baby's due (especially when I'm all nauseous and pathetic), but my good friends will know that I'm just uncomfortably bloated for the next six months.
Super yay.
{Sarcasm.}
Monday, March 11, 2013
1/4!
Holy amazingness! I just completed my THIRD treatment.... out of TWELVE. That's 1/4 of the way done! Times a flyin', I'm tellin' ya!
This is grounds for a celebration.... what sooo-not-good-for-me food should I eat? :)
Hanging Out in Chemo Land
Round 3 of chemo is happening right now. I have about 30 minutes left, so I'm getting bloated. They use sodium chloride in between each chemo drug as a rinse and it makes me bloat. I, apparently, retain it like it's the end of the world. :) It's joyful. By the time I get home I will look like I'm popping out of the first trimester.
I should put chemo into trimesters and take pictures like people do with babies. That would be amusing. And creepy.
Speaking of pictures, once I figure out how to get them off of my phone, I'll add them to this post. I took a few today. They're grand.
Patrick had to work and couldn't stay with me, so I got some homework done, some Oregon Trail Settlers-ing done, and some Instagramming and Facebooking. Oh, I live the high life.
I also witnessed my first bell-ringing. When you finish your last round of chemo, you get to ring a bell. And you get a bottle of Martinelli's. Sweet, huh? Can't wait.
I realized that I have chemo on our anniversary. 7 years of bliss... hanging out in Chemo Land. Oh yeah!! Ah... it's okay. Maybe we'll go out the Saturday before. :)
Can you believe I've already finished a month of chemo?? And today makes 1 1/2 months. Wow, times a flyin'!
My friend is coming over tonight for a bit and I'm really excited to see her. I hope I'm coherent. :) And the kids are having a sleepover last this week. I think they'll have a lot of fun - they'll be gone for my worst days. I'll miss them, but I'm very glad they'll be with someone who will play with them and give them the attention they need. And who will not make them forage on their own for food and drink. ;-) Though I'm really grateful they know how to open the fridge and that we have Capri Suns. :) Capri Suns are snack packs are life savers these days!
Oh! I still have my hair. It's supposed to be gone, but it's not! It's definitely falling out, getting thinner, etc. but it's (apparently) hanging on for its dear life. heh heh heh. I'm so funny. Anyway, I'm not bald yet. That's pretty nice. My hair cut is pretty cute, so it's kind of fun to have. Can you believe that? I actually like my short hair. How dare I say that! It's kind of fun, though. I'm not gonna lie, though..... it sucks to see it falling out when I wash it and when I put the hair stuff in to style in. Pretty lame.
I've gotta tell ya. I'm super bloated right now. I could maybe even be finding out what this chemo baby is - boy or girl? What do you think? I'm leaning towards girl because of how cancer fights. Such a girl!
Anyway, I'm almost done and I'm getting kind of loopy. I'm going to go try to drink some more. Gotta keep up the fluid intake to flush out the kidneys so I don't fry them while I'm loading up on poison. I'm tellin' ya... .I am living the high life!!
Until next time.... We out. *namethatmovie*
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