*** This post is from October 22, 2013 and I'm just now publishing it... I never finished it, but I'm publishing it.***
Today, I was a rockstar.
I worked in the morning. Finished putting grades in for the first term.
Then I went to my massage and chiro appointment. Then I set up a follow-up appointment for something related to the car accident. Then I called someone related to the car accident. Haha. Sorry, I can't post details.
I called the clinic and made sure a few bills were re-submitted under the correct number.
I called my radiation oncologist to talk to them about my heart again and scheduled a CT with angio for tomorrow.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
An Old Post About Cancer that I Never Published (Well, until now..)
**Update - this blog post is from last Fall (2013) and I never published it, so I am now.**
It's been so long since I have blogged that when I typed my blog's name into Google, it didn't automatically pop up. However, I have wanted to blog for weeks - I just haven't known exactly what to say or how to say it. And there has been stuff that I'm not allowed to say so that doesn't help.
My life has been a whirlwind the last few months. I thought chemo was a difficult time, but these last few months have put that to shame. We all know about my car accident in September. That has complicated things, with various appointments and the hassle of everything that involves, but in addition to that, I have been dealing with the emotional ramifications of cancer and a new health issue that has been discovered.
I've wanted to blog about my feelings, but haven't want to say anything that could potentially jeopardize anything dealing with my car accident. It's really hard to blog, but limit what I say. So I've just been thinking and thinking and thinking.
Cancer totally sucks. It really, really sucks. I hate it so very much. And I know, I know... We don't say "hate" in this house. But I do. I hate it. Despise it. Want it to get cancer and die.
It's been so long since I have blogged that when I typed my blog's name into Google, it didn't automatically pop up. However, I have wanted to blog for weeks - I just haven't known exactly what to say or how to say it. And there has been stuff that I'm not allowed to say so that doesn't help.
My life has been a whirlwind the last few months. I thought chemo was a difficult time, but these last few months have put that to shame. We all know about my car accident in September. That has complicated things, with various appointments and the hassle of everything that involves, but in addition to that, I have been dealing with the emotional ramifications of cancer and a new health issue that has been discovered.
I've wanted to blog about my feelings, but haven't want to say anything that could potentially jeopardize anything dealing with my car accident. It's really hard to blog, but limit what I say. So I've just been thinking and thinking and thinking.
Cancer totally sucks. It really, really sucks. I hate it so very much. And I know, I know... We don't say "hate" in this house. But I do. I hate it. Despise it. Want it to get cancer and die.
Cancer in Life
I recently had another CT scan - and it was all clear and lovely! I love my oncologists. I would refer any friends or family to them in a heart beat. (Despite how that would totally suck because it would mean they have cancer... but seriously, I trust these doctors more than any doctor I have ever had.)
I've been watching a lot of cancer movies recently. I'm not sure why. I'm probably just reflecting on life in the subconscious and stuff. There's a new tv show on ABC Family called "Chasing Life" about a 24 year-old who has leukemia. I'm very interested to see how it plays out. I watched "50/50" after reading an article talking about the aforementioned tv show. It was really good. Unfortunately, it's rated R for language, but man, it really hit home in quite a few ways. The guy is 27, he has lived his life "perfectly", but he ends up with a unique spinal cancer. It really hits on the relationships you have, lose, strengthen, etc. with your friends and family, as well as how friends and family cope and try to help you through your cancer. It was great. Then, of course, there's the new movie "The Fault in Our Stars" based on the book of the same title. I read the book so I'm very much looking forward to seeing the movie. I've actually asked a few friends if they want to see it, but they haven't been terribly interested, so I'm waiting for Patrick to get home and we'll go together. :) And apparently, he is really interested in seeing it, so that's good!
I like to read and I've been reading as much as I can recently. I'm finishing up with The Giver series and I have been very impressed with it. I have also started reading books by Jennifer Smith. They're sweet and simple and very easy and fast reads (they're also designed for teenagers, but I like those books haha). I have a few others on my list - like I still haven't read The Book Thief and I have some Emily Giffin books to read, but I've loved actually working towards I goal I set this year to read at least one book a month for fun.
You know, I'm coming up on a year post-treatments. It's crazy how different this year has been than last year. I'm not living in doctors' offices, but they still know my face and name. I actually love that. I mean, it sucks that I've gone so often that they know my name so well, but it's also great to have an additional "family" of sorts. I really do love my doctors. Both of them are on billboards now and it cracks me up. My radiation oncologist has been on one that says HOPE and has him and a nurse smiling big for a while now. But there's a new ad that says something like "sometimes fighting IS the answer" (or something) and happens to have both of my oncologists on it. They have "serious" faces and both of my doctors are light and happy and not serious fighter people, so it makes me laugh, but in a good way. It's kind of fun to see my doctors when I'm driving around and to remember how much they have done for me and continue to do for me.
In other news... we moved into a new apartment. It's basically twice as big. We are mostly moved in, but working on some issues with carpeting, so there's a lot still not done.
Patrick comes home from his training very soon. We are VERY excited for that.
Our friends, Mikelle and Jason (and kids) came into town and I think they need to move here. ;-) It's always nice to have friends that are basically family.
I've been working out some and going to Zumba twice a week at the Rec Center. I'm not seeing any major changes, but it feels so good to work out and I'm loving that!
I had surgery on my wrist from the car accident and have been going through physical therapy for that. I'm gradually regaining the use, function, and mobility, and I'm very happy with that! Not being able to type because of the pain was SUPER awful (among a bunch of other limitations).
Well, this was pretty random and not very exciting. I want to blog here more. I want this to be a helpful place for cancer patients and survivors to go, or anyone experiencing a major life trial. I want to bring hope to others. Apparently today I was really struggling with my words, but I would really like to provide more hope and comfort for others. :) So we'll see...
I've been watching a lot of cancer movies recently. I'm not sure why. I'm probably just reflecting on life in the subconscious and stuff. There's a new tv show on ABC Family called "Chasing Life" about a 24 year-old who has leukemia. I'm very interested to see how it plays out. I watched "50/50" after reading an article talking about the aforementioned tv show. It was really good. Unfortunately, it's rated R for language, but man, it really hit home in quite a few ways. The guy is 27, he has lived his life "perfectly", but he ends up with a unique spinal cancer. It really hits on the relationships you have, lose, strengthen, etc. with your friends and family, as well as how friends and family cope and try to help you through your cancer. It was great. Then, of course, there's the new movie "The Fault in Our Stars" based on the book of the same title. I read the book so I'm very much looking forward to seeing the movie. I've actually asked a few friends if they want to see it, but they haven't been terribly interested, so I'm waiting for Patrick to get home and we'll go together. :) And apparently, he is really interested in seeing it, so that's good!
I like to read and I've been reading as much as I can recently. I'm finishing up with The Giver series and I have been very impressed with it. I have also started reading books by Jennifer Smith. They're sweet and simple and very easy and fast reads (they're also designed for teenagers, but I like those books haha). I have a few others on my list - like I still haven't read The Book Thief and I have some Emily Giffin books to read, but I've loved actually working towards I goal I set this year to read at least one book a month for fun.
You know, I'm coming up on a year post-treatments. It's crazy how different this year has been than last year. I'm not living in doctors' offices, but they still know my face and name. I actually love that. I mean, it sucks that I've gone so often that they know my name so well, but it's also great to have an additional "family" of sorts. I really do love my doctors. Both of them are on billboards now and it cracks me up. My radiation oncologist has been on one that says HOPE and has him and a nurse smiling big for a while now. But there's a new ad that says something like "sometimes fighting IS the answer" (or something) and happens to have both of my oncologists on it. They have "serious" faces and both of my doctors are light and happy and not serious fighter people, so it makes me laugh, but in a good way. It's kind of fun to see my doctors when I'm driving around and to remember how much they have done for me and continue to do for me.
In other news... we moved into a new apartment. It's basically twice as big. We are mostly moved in, but working on some issues with carpeting, so there's a lot still not done.
Patrick comes home from his training very soon. We are VERY excited for that.
Our friends, Mikelle and Jason (and kids) came into town and I think they need to move here. ;-) It's always nice to have friends that are basically family.
I've been working out some and going to Zumba twice a week at the Rec Center. I'm not seeing any major changes, but it feels so good to work out and I'm loving that!
I had surgery on my wrist from the car accident and have been going through physical therapy for that. I'm gradually regaining the use, function, and mobility, and I'm very happy with that! Not being able to type because of the pain was SUPER awful (among a bunch of other limitations).
Well, this was pretty random and not very exciting. I want to blog here more. I want this to be a helpful place for cancer patients and survivors to go, or anyone experiencing a major life trial. I want to bring hope to others. Apparently today I was really struggling with my words, but I would really like to provide more hope and comfort for others. :) So we'll see...
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