House, MD to Grey's Anatomy

Written Friday, January 4, 2013

You know how on House they're always trying to figure out what the problem is with the person? Well, that's still kind of me. But now I also kind of feel like the patient that the interns on Grey's are fighting over. Everyone wants to touch my neck!

So after the biopsy, I was referred to an ENT. I went to him and he ordered a cat scan of my neck and chest, because he couldn't tell how far down the thing was going or if it was going below my collar bone, etc.  This past Monday I went in for that. That was a really easy scan. They gave me an IV with contrast that made me feel like I was peeing my pants. Cool, huh? And the whole taking the pictures business took about five minutes or so. SOOOO much better than the MRI I had for my back a few years back.

A cat scan takes pictures of you like a loaf of bread in slices. It's pretty cool. My lungs look really good. And so does my heart. So that's good. However, comma, there's this HUGE mass in my chest that is actually going UP into my neck.

So the ENT referred me to a cardiothorastic surgeon.

On Thursday, I had to go pick up the dvd with the CT scan on it at the ENT's office in American Fork. While I was there, the nurse practitioner that Dr. Todd Hamilton (the ENT) works with said he had looked at my scans and asked if he could feel my neck. I obliged. Sure, why not, right? I'm like a freak of nature, haha. Well, he didn't say I wasn't... Anyway, he seemed kind of... fascinated... by it and since I hadn't seen my scans yet (because the ENT called me on Wednesday with the results), he showed them to me. It's a HUGE mass. It starts above/at my heart and fills the center portion of my chest, and then goes into my neck on the right side. He told me it looked like a thymoma, which is a growth of the thymus, but that he wasn't sure. That's why I was going to meet with the cardio guy.

So Patrick, the girls, and I went to the cardiology office in Provo to meet with Dr. Lee McCann. We got there a little bit before 3, but we weren't seen until almost 4. Apparently, they squeezed me into the schedule because Dr. Hamilton asked them to see me and because they felt like it was important enough to see me that day. It was a long wait, but I got out of some of my class while waiting. :)

Dr. McCann came in WITH his colleague/partner-in-crime, Dr. Mitchell. They asked me a bunch of questions like how I noticed it (I didn't, I went in for a physical), if it was bothering me (only recently has it started to), if it hurt when they touched it (nope), etc. etc. etc. Dr. Mitchell was touching my neck and checking me out while Dr. McCann was taking notes and asking lots of questions. Dr. Mitchell would say to Dr. McCann, "Come feel this. Touch this." over and over again. Apparently, I really am an anomaly. At least sort of. Dr. Mitchell left and Dr. McCann finished up with us.

He told us that it could be anything and, since they don't know, they need to do a surgical biopsy. He took us into his office to show us the scans (Patrick had not seen them yet) and we talked about them, options, possibilites, etc.

If it's a thymoma, it has to be surgically removed. This will require a big slicing of me from my neck down my chest and they will cut open part of my sternum to get it out. It is wrapping around some arteries, including my carotid artery, so it would be a complicated surgery, but doable. I may need chemotherapy afterwords to make sure it was ALL gone because thymomas can reoccur. If I have surgery, I'd be in the hospital for a week, then go home with lots of pain meds. I wouldn't be able to lift anything heavy (including the kids) or drive for 4-6 weeks. But then it'd be done. Minus the rockin' gigantor scar. Return to Me, anyone??

If it's a lymphoma (the other thing they are thinking it could be), then it depends on what type of lymphoma it is, but the treatment is chemotherapy. Dr. McCann thinks that is what it is because it is wrapping around my arteries and has started to even wrap around my trachea. It is also pushing on my trachea a little bit and on my thyroid. He couldn't really speak to what that would be like because it really depends on what type it is as far as how it is treated and what type of chemo is used. So I have no idea what my recovery/lifestyle would be like with that. But it sounds long, uncomfortable, and like I'd lose my hair. I don't like that. And I'm not sure if I like that less than a huge scar.... but I think I must be shallow about my hair.

Both routes sound really hard.

It could also be something totally different, in which case the treatment may be totally different. But that is what I'm probably looking at. And whatever I do, I'll probably start about mid-February.

So next Thursday, I go to the hospital to have my pre-op labwork and tests done. They'll make sure I'm all good to go for Friday and then give me a time to be at the hospital on Friday. On Friday, I'll go into the operating room, they'll put me under anesthesia and put a breathing tube in to control my breathing (particularly since it's pushing on my trachea and sometimes causes problems with breathing and swallowing... especially with them digging around), and they'll cut open my neck and take a chunk out. They will send that to pathology and while I'm "open", they'll get a "frozen" diagnosis, which will give them an idea of what it is and ensures that they got enough tissue for pathology to run all their tests. I'll then go to recovery for an hour or so and once I'm cleared there, I'll go home with pain meds and need a couple days to recoup. That's why I'm doing it on a Friday - so that I have the weekend to recover. :) Monday I'll go back to school.... and start a new semester! Ha!

It will take 4-5 business days to get the results. Sometimes pathology sends things out, sometimes they don't, but they'll do all kinds of tests to figure out what it is. Once we know what it is, we'll figure out what the course of action will be for it and we'll go from there.

I don't think I'm really freaking out right now. I freaked out over the possibility of thyroid cancer and so I'm kind of all freaked-out out. The NP at the ENT's office was trying not to scare me when he told me they might have to cut into my sternum, but I had already thought of that since the ENT told me it went down lower. And since I don't know what is going to happen, I don't know what to properly freak out about. If that makes sense... I am unsettled and tired and stressed, but I'm not like wigging. I just feel worn out and worn down. And I do have a bit of "this shouldn't happen to me, I'm 27" in my mind. But I know that Heavenly Father has a plan and that I'll be okay one way or another, so I'm okay overall.

I'm actually very, very so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost and that I have been righteous enough to have it in my life. It was a small prompting that sent me to the doctor for a physical, instead of going to the stomach specialist. If I hadn't gone in for a physical, I wouldn't know any of this, and may still have not gone in. Or I may have gone in about now and with the process of everything, it could have grown more and become more of a problem. I'm ever so grateful for that small prompting and that I followed through with it. Since then, I've had a few blessings and I know that I have a hard road ahead of me (I didn't understand that when I got the blessing, but I'm really starting to now), but I also know that I'll be okay. I have a wonderful, supportive family and a few wonderful, supportive friends, and that is making this easier to handle as well. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that He is taking care of me. Oddly enough, it has actually strengthened my marriage and maybe that's one reason that it's happening to me - because He knows I'm strong enough to handle it and, in turn, my marriage is strengthened when it has been tried so much in the last few years. Maybe not. Maybe I'm imagining that and I'm crazy. :) But I do feel like in the last few months, maybe even year, that I've been more receptive to some of the reasons for experiences in our life. Like, I'll get a feeling that this is the reason for that and I think that is something Heavenly Father has blessed me with to comfort me and help me through the trials. And boy, I'm so grateful that I have the gospel and that I have this knowledge because without it, this would be REALLLLLLLLY REALLLLLLLLLY difficult to go through. I'm so grateful that I have some insight and knowledge of His plan for us. It's an amazing thing in my life.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. My mom is going to come out and help, we just don't know when to do that because we don't know what the treatment will be. Say a prayer for us if you have room in your prayers and be thinking of us, if you'd like. :) It's kind of therapeutic to blog about this. Helps me get my feelings out and not have to pester people with the heavy weight of my dealings right now. :)