Post-Treatment Life

Unfortunately, this post won't have pictures... they're on the other computer. Sorry. Maybe I'll add some later.


Life after cancer treatments...

Well, school started.

Then my mom came and visited for a month. That's why I didn't blog at all during September. I was a guest speaker at a Relief Society event where ladies got together and did a bunch of different stuff - zumba, speakers, etc. I spoke about being happy even when life isn't happy and being happy in our roles as women, moms, etc. We went to Idaho and visited family. We came back. We cleaned my house. Then I got in a car accident, my car was totaled, and now I'm doing therapies to recover from that. We cleaned up the storage unit, we ate steak and salad and sweet potatoes. HOLY YUM. We had Coke and Cafe Rio. We had lots of girly time. I love my mommy. We are best buddies and it was so wonderful having her here. Especially texting each other with emoji characters. :) haha.

School has been harder for me than work has ever been for me in my entire life. I'm tired, I'm stressed, the students are hard (well, some of them), it's just been harder than ever.

I hit an emotional wall and kind of exploded. Every emotion I've limited in the last year or so came out in the last couple of months, especially since the car accident. I got shingles. Thank you effing stress from said car accident. That made me REALLY mad. What are the odds??? I took a medicine during ALL of chemo and for a month after to keep me from getting shingles. And then I get it. I'm still trying to figure out all of the emotions stuff.

I had a major anxiety attack and might have something wrong with my heart. I went to the ER for that - on General Conference Sunday. Haven't received that bill yet, but I have a feeling I might be reaching my deductibles very soon...

We had to buy a new car. We got a Chevy Equinox. It's nice, but it's another car payment. But it's fun to hook the iPhone up to to listen to Pandora.... You know that song - Royals? I'm obsessed. It should've been made when Gossip Girl was still around.... It would've been PERFECT. I love GG.

I think the stress also kicked my thyroid into not working. So that's awesome. I basically have side burns and extra hair on my neck. And of course anxiety, anger, possibly depression, etc. Life is good - whatever. :)

Nah, it's not all bad. There are definitely up's. And you have to look at those, right? But right now... I'm not done. :) I'm not quite there... I'm processing a lot of stuff right now.

I'm taking a Praxis Prep class to prepare for another test I get to pay for to keep my teaching license current and to keep my job. The car accident messed up my wrist/hand/forearm, so it was incredibly difficult to write practice answers for the class/test... I've never had wrist/hand/forearm pain like that before. It completely sucks.



Finishing chemo and radiation does NOT mean your life will go back to being the same. I didn't realize that realistically as much as theoretically. My life will NEVER be the same. It will forever be different. Post-cancer me won't be the Adrienne I know. I'm getting to know a new me. It's been difficult, but I'm learning. I thought cancer would change my life, but that it would just be something I would think of as part of my life, my past, etc. Part of what made me ME. But it's so much more than that...

I never felt anxiety about my cancer, but I do now. I'm worried about it coming back, I'm worried about having to go through everything ALL OVER AGAIN. This journey is just so far from being over. It's a bizarre concept and, frankly, I'm tired of cancer identifying me so much. I kinda just want "old me" back. Simple, worried about things besides living, long beautiful-haired Adrienne. New me is good too, but I'm just getting to know new me. I'm different.

But speaking of hair... my eyebrows are back and beautiful!!!! And my hair has grown in nicely. I wish it were the same color as before, but it could be worse. I'm actually contemplating dyeing it. My scalp, however, has been falling apart! It flakes away like a champ and it's gross and annoying. If I have an itch, my scalp falls apart. :) I have horrible dandruff. I actually asked the dermatologist about it while at an appointment for the girls and he gave me a prescription hair goo stuff to use overnight. He called it "sticky city" - I haven't used it yet. Anyway, I had NO idea my scalp was going to do this (it itches too!) when my hair grew back in, but apparently it's because the new hair doesn't have enough oils so my scalp is super dry. I guess it's also kind of a good sign because it means my hair is growing back in. I got a super cute pixie cut and I actually really quite like it. Just need to fix this flaky head. :) My hair hardly falls out now either! It's pretty great. :)


So anyway, a jumble of thoughts after over a month of not blogging. My mind feels jumbled right now. I'm working through it - slowly, but surely. I'd like to try and blog more. Keep this going. It's all part of "the journey," as they call it.

Contact Me

If you would like to contact me, please email me at justfightlikeagirl@gmail.com.